SNW Ep1 Colm - The one thing to make sobriety thrive.

Transcript

SNW Colm S1,  E1 The One Thing That Makes Sobriety Thrive. 

[00:00:00] 

Stuart Cline: Welcome, my friends, whether you've been sober for a day or a lifetime, I truly believe that after hearing from today's guest, Colm, you'll leave this episode feeling inspired. I know I will. Let me share a little secret with you. When I was first putting together this podcast, sobriety, now what? Colm was one of the very first people I turned to for advice.

His encouragement and support gave me the confidence to bring this vision to life. That's why I can't think of anyone better to join us for this special episode. Colm has come all the way from Ireland to be with us today. Well, all right, technically he made that journey about (correction) - 40 years ago, but he's here now and that's what matters.

Let me share with you why his story is so important. Besides being a good storyteller, he has stories within stories, many people early in sobriety find themselves asking in a discouraging way, [00:01:00] sobriety, now what? You'll find, sobriety isn't just about stopping the addiction, it's about discovering the gifts and windows of opportunities that come with a sober life.

Colum's story is a testament to this, and listening to his story today, you will notice something remarkable. His sober life has been shaped by a series of pivotal one things, single actions that created significant change. The beauty of this is those one things you will hear about him doing He had no idea at the time that these simple actions were opening windows of opportunity for him in ways he could have never imagined.

Because he believed, as you will hear in his story, these things just don't happen to us guys. The first one thing, and yes you guessed it, was choosing to stop drinking. But as you'll hear, there are many more one things. Another one of those one things. Let him to meet his [00:02:00] wife and build a beautiful life with their two children who have never known him to drink.

Another one thing happened unknowingly while he was walking his dog in a park. This allowed for another chance encounter that still warms his heart to this day. You will hear that story too. Thanks to his sobriety, Colm now carries joy in his heart everywhere he goes. A constant reminder of how one small decision can transform an entire life.

Colm's story, as you'll hear, reminds us that these gifts can come at the most unexpected times. So keep your eyes open. You never know when or where the universe is. May surprise you. He kind of reminds me of Clarence in the movie, It's a Wonderful Life. It's an old holiday classic in the States. In the movie, Clarence an angel 

is sent 

down to earth to help George Bailey, a man in despair, who wanted to end it all. God tells Clarence that if he helps George, then [00:03:00] he'll earn his angel wings. In the movie, you'll learn that every time a bell rings, an angel Gets their wings just like Clarence in the movie who eventually earned his wings I believe if I got a vote, I'd say Colum has earned his wings many times over.

In today's episode Listen for those pivotal one thing moments where Colum, when he least expected it, had events that forever Changed his life for the better. I believe that listening to Colum today Well, it could be one of those one things that changes your life. Colum, Colum I'm so glad you're here. You are much more interesting than I am, so how about I pass this over to you?

Colm: Sure. What I have to offer is my story. And since my first day of sobriety, my life totally changed in a positive manner. There were plenty of disappointments and plenty of good times. But the key [00:04:00] here is I had to do one thing in order to survive. And that was stop drinking. I was on death's door. I was on my knees.

I was looking for help. And boy, I could not, I could, I didn't know what to do. I didn't think that these 12 step programs like AA had anything for me after all. I'm not the drunk with the brown paper bag. So therefore it doesn't, this doesn't fit me. So one day. Back in 1990, I was living on the moon on my own.

My wife and children at the time had left. And folks, one of the saddest things that I've ever gone through was standing at the front door of my home and watching my wife and children drive away with my children looking out the back window and waving in a manner like, I don't know, we don't know what we're going to be doing.

And I turned in to [00:05:00] this home. that had now changed into a house. A home for me is full of laughter and good cheer. Now I was just bricks and mortar and then I knew loneliness and terror actually like I had never known before. And I now had closed the curtains in the house and decided that the only way out for me was to make that ultimate decision and jump off.

So, on that same day, there was a knock to my door, and it was the lady who owned the house that I was living in. I knew her very well, a great family friend. Her family were friends of our family. So, she walked into the house, and she says, What's wrong? Because I had lost a tremendous amount of weight, and, I was too embarrassed to tell anybody what was [00:06:00] going on, what had happened, through my own fault.

So she sat down with me, and she says, Colm, a question that I had always refused to answer in the past, and that was, has alcohol caused you any problems? And I turned to her, and for the first time in my life, I answered yes. And she replied to me, Colm, there are places that can help you. And I said, yeah, like what?

And I put my hand up to my head and I said, Oh, for fuck's sake. And she continued talking to me and never skipped a beat. And she said to me, Do you know, Colm, that I'm an alcoholic? I'm a recovering alcoholic. And I looked at her in disbelief and I said, Colm. You're kidding me. I said, I've seen you at parties.

I've seen you and your family, and I've seen you with drinks in your hand. And she says, yes, that's a trick I learned. When I have a drink in my hand, it's water, it's a [00:07:00] soda, or whatever. When people come up and ask me, what are you having? I always answered, I'm fine, thank you, showing them my drink. So that let me off the hook with people coming and maybe badgering me.

People who knew me, They were okay. I said, You're thinking that I need to go to AA. And she said, I do. And then, I'll take you. Looked at her watch and she said, There's a meeting on over at the Heights Club right, starting in half an hour. Would you come with me if I took you? And she said yes. I said yes. So I went to that meeting at the Heights.

That was my first ever meeting. AA meeting and I did not know that my journey in sobriety was about to start. My main reason to that meeting and for meetings thereafter for a while was that I thought maybe I could save my marriage. Now, that wasn't to happen. I dealt with it [00:08:00] in sobriety. I went to my first, they always say within AA, and by the way, I'm not here to preach AA to anybody.

I'm just telling you my story, my journey, what worked for me. So whatever works for you, please do it. Just don't do it on your own. You need to circle the wagons. So I moved on and I started going to meetings. After that meeting I didn't like it. I thought a friend was waiting outside. What did you think?

And I said, you know what? I don't know. I don't know whether it's for me or not. She sat me down and we had another discussion. So the next meeting I went to was actually at Foothills. And thereafter, they told me that I needed to come to meetings on a regular basis. And I'm thinking to myself, is this where my life has come?

Is this what it is for me? I got so hungry and [00:09:00] so fearful about not going to meetings, that I went to 257 meetings in my first 90 days. That's how afraid I was of stepping away, and stepping into The complete unknown and the thought of not drinking anymore. What am I going to do? How am I going to meet life outside of this room and be Calum?

Just be Calum without alcohol. And it baffled me. It just As I went on with these meetings, I grew to understand that sobriety does mean adjusting. After all, I had spent an awful lot of time and many years using and abusing alcohol, and lying at home, and I felt horrible. Now I didn't have any alcohol to back into to get me out of my misery.

I was determined that I needed to go forward on this [00:10:00] path. And where this path was going to take me, I honestly didn't know. I was so embarrassed and so ashamed that my family would be very disappointed in me. So I had all of those things on my shoulders while I was going to meetings. I was also told at these meetings that I needed to be selfish.

Now, prior to stop and drinking, I was being very selfish. Everything was me. At this time, everything was me, but it was building blocks, building blocks and sobriety that was going to give me direction to God knows where, I had no idea. During those days of 90 meetings, I was averaging three meetings a day.

That I had, I needed these meetings every day. But growing in sobriety was happening and I didn't realize it. I tidied up my past as best I could. And I had a friend that I did this with. And it [00:11:00] was part of, a vital part of my recovery. Alcohol was only a part. There was other work that needed to be done.

After all, I led a life of destruction. And because I led that life of destruction, It took me, I was told that your new life is not going to happen overnight. It took you many years to get to where you are. You're going to have to learn new ways. And this idea of not going out or living under a rock was not for me.

Because I knew that, for example, in Ireland, if I wanted to hear any music or wanted to have any social life, it does hinge around pubs. It does. What I was told was, I can do anything and go anywhere as long as I had a good reason to be there and had a good exit if needed. So I took that on board and I said, you know what, maybe I can have a social [00:12:00] life that's free of alcohol.

Because after all, all I'm being asked to do is one thing, one thing only, and the world is my oyster. I said, that makes sense. I continued to do that one thing, free of alcohol. I had many challenges with regards to that. But, at some way or another, I held steadfast and decided, no matter what, I'm going to go ahead with this.

So, I'm going to give you a little insight as to how things happened during those days. After a year or two of sobriety, my daughter was a nurse on the Behavioural Health Unit at Presbyterian. And, she called me one day and from that unit and she said, Dad, I think that you might be of help. Imagine that folks, I might be of help to someone.

And she explained what it was, and that she would like to [00:13:00] introduce me to a lady, her name is Gail Bell, never forget it. So I met with Gail, and Gail said, You can come on to the unit here on Sunday mornings. She told me what I was going to be dealing with and in my words, folks, she gave us a meeting room, or gave me a meeting room, and she said, You're going to be dealing with people in their pajamas.

The smell of recycled booze will knock you down. I said, if you're prepared for that, then let's do it. So I did that for many years, Sunday mornings, and little did I know that this was helping me on my journey, helping others. And it was then at that point that I said anything that I do with my life from now on, regarding sobriety, is going to be What was given to me freely will be given away freely and I have stood by that to this very day and I will stand by it the rest of my life.

Having spent some time on the [00:14:00] unit, that stopped and I won't go into any reasons why, not me, but it was regarding my work not allowing me the time off on a Sunday morning which was very sad. At one point. During one of those meetings, there was a chair thrown at me, and I didn't see it coming, and it was the person beside me on my left that caught the chair.

And as this chair has been flung across the room, this guy says, Who the fuck do you think you are? God? And I said, No, I'm just another drunk. Things simmered down, and I continued shaking during that meeting. If we wind, push the clock forward a bit, I met Stuart at the IOP at Kisman. And Stuart and I talked, I went down to his office, and he told me that he felt That I would be able to sit in with him at some of his IOP meetings and that maybe I just could help somebody.[00:15:00] 

And you know what folks? I did that for nearly 15 years and I remember calling Stuart and saying, you know what, Stuart, I think I'm getting too old for this shit. Stuart says What? I said, I don't think I'm reaching people. I don't think I'm, I'm of useful to you as I was. Boy, he put me in my place very quickly.

Needless to say, it continued from there on. And I think that these things that I tell you were a very important part of my life. And a very important part of my recovery journey. At my job, I was very, I thought I was being very secretive about being a recovering alcoholic. I just didn't feel comfortable at that point.

One day This person came into the store and I was talking to this person and he went off and I was called to a manager's office that [00:16:00] day and the manager was sitting so close to me that I thought what's going on here and the manager told whom I knew she was a department manager and she said to me there's somebody on the floor here or a customer who reported you For having, for drinking on the floor, and I said, what?

And I knew then the reason for her being up close. She was trying to smell my breath. And what I had done was, on and off, I had used an air freshener, an air spray, to freshen my mouth. And she said, I just get the smell of that spray that people use for their mouths. And I said, yes. And I said to this lady, Debbie, I haven't taken a drink in 12 years.

And she says, Okay, so I went back out onto the floor. I was very worried because the next step was the store manager. So the very next day, this guy comes back, the fucker. And I see him, and I immediately go for him. [00:17:00] And I said, go to him, I should say. I didn't go for him. But I got right in front of him. And I said, you know what you did?

You reported me for drinking on the floor. Yesterday. And you never even came back to see if, how I was doing. He had told me the day before that he was in AA. So I had told him, then you should have come back. If you're listening to what AA is telling you, you should have come back to me. You should have talked to me and see if there was anything you could do to help me.

He didn't. If I was a drinker. And I said, no, but you went back to the office, you motherfucker. And you reported me. He left and guess what? He went back to the manager again. The next day I was coming into work and the store manager was standing at the back door. And I said to myself, Oh shit, he's going to fire me.

He doesn't want me to go into the store. As I'm [00:18:00] passing him. He says, Hey, call him. Can I talk to you for a minute? And I said, sure. And he said, you were reported twice for drinking on the floor. And I said, again, and he said, yes. I'll tell you what we did. We brought that customer, me and the lady that he reported to the first.

The two of us stood in the office. And we brought that guy back to our office. And we told him, you're not needed as a customer around in Sears ever again. We want you to leave and never come back. And then he said to me, I have a brother, and I forget what state he said he lives in, and he, I said, he said he was ravaged with alcohol.

And he went to AA and he hasn't drinking, he hasn't taken a drink since. you're He said, so you be proud of yourself and [00:19:00] you go back in there and do your job the best you can. That served two things. First of all, how somebody can be so off and so crude to other people. And the second thing that it served me was, from now on I was going to be an open book.

So I went back to that same store manager and every store manager that I worked under Ever since over a 20 year career, I told them, if you ever have somebody in this store that has a problem with alcohol, before you pass them out the back door, would you let me know first and see if I can be of help.

And that's what happened. Every store manager, there were many who come into our store, all of my direct managers, All of them knew, everybody that I worked with. I didn't go out and put up a sign or anything like that, but if [00:20:00] it came up in discussion, fine. Another thing that happened that, I hope I'm not taking this on too long, but there's a point in all of these little things that happened to me.

One of the guys that I was working with at the time was having a wine and cheese at his home. He had invited everybody around, but never said anything to me. So, I went to him and I said, Why? Why would you not say something to me? And he says, You being an alcoholic, I thought that, And I said, Ah, wait a minute.

That is not a problem of yours. That's me. At least give me the option to say no. Ask me, don't, and he felt bad. There's no doubt about that. So, there's where these things can happen throughout sobriety. But if we have our armor on, there is no need for us to take a drink. I have found that out over and over again, that my [00:21:00] journey is my journey and I need to be able to be out there in order to help somebody.

What is the point in my getting the sobriety for free and live under a rock? That's not for me. And it never was. And I'm here today. When I had asked the question of what now, that was part of it. What the fuck am I going to do? What am I going to do when I go back to Ireland and tell my family because I need to be an open book?

There was lots of those questions facing me and I still wasn't very comfortable. This is going back to the early days. What I did with help, especially with help from that lady who brought me into the program to begin with, I found that gradually I found I did have something to offer. And having something to offer meant so much [00:22:00] to me.

And having something to offer without. a swelled head, that kind of thing. In all humility, being able to reach out to people and taking advice from people. It goes both ways. And this thing didn't happen overnight. I had to grow to learn a new way. That new way, I will tell you, before I learned and was comfortable with myself, I had to ask the question, what now?

When I had stepped over into sobriety, the question was, what now? And I know that's a question that a lot of people will ask. After all, we're being asked to make an awful lot of changes. But the what now can be changed and can be changed in a way to where you would be comfortable with your life. After all, I got very comfortable.

All I was doing was being a person, trying to be a better person, lead a good life and lead it [00:23:00] alcohol free. So I did. I had my trials and tribulations as you just heard. I did go back to Ireland, and I was welcomed with open arms. And everything went great. Now, I will tell you this, and this, there's lots can be added, go on and on.

I'm just going to go, and I could be all over the place. One of the greatest things, or the greatest thing, that ever happened to me, I came back from Ireland, and I was, I'd been back in Ireland for about two or three years. So I came back from Ireland with four or five years sobriety, and I was standing at the bottom of the ladder, hadn't a pot to piss in, I was working at a jewellery store.

During that time, in that jewellery store, this girl came into the store, and I happened to be there. Be the one that served her and we talked a bit and cracked a few jokes and good looking girl And I left [00:24:00] it at that because I was determined I was not going to get into a relationship for two reasons One was I did not want to hurt anybody and I didn't want to get hurt myself The next day I get a phone call And it's from that girl that I would had talked to in the store the previous day And now, I say this with all humility because it was a total turning point and knocked me over in my life.

She called me and she said, I'm wondering, She said, first of all, I don't know if you remember me, I was in the store yesterday and you served me and we cracked a joke or two and I said, yes, I do remember you. And she said, I was wondering if you would like to have a cup of coffee with me or a drink. And I was blown away.

I got so embarrassed, on the phone, imagine that, on the phone, that my face turned completely red. And I, I was in disbelief and I said to her, can I call you back? Because I had a [00:25:00] few things to think about here, and yet I didn't want this opportunity to pass me by. I had to borrow a car to meet her. Met in Gardunas.

She was having a drink and I was having my usual water. And we talked and we laughed and so on and I posed a question to her. I said, What made you make that phone call? Because that doesn't happen to us guys. It just doesn't happen. And she said, You made me laugh. So here I am, feeling low. thinking that maybe I have no use in a relationship and that I'd only either hurt this person or maybe hurt myself.

Fast forward, and that girl is my wife to this day. Imagine that. And we have two beautiful daughters, both in their 20s now, late 20s, mid 20s, late 20s. When I say [00:26:00] to you, There are so many positive things that can happen. I mean it. Because I've lived it. I've been there. And then the idea of what I need to do or what we need to think about and what next.

There is no doom and gloom about what next. There is a full fucking life to be led without alcohol. And what I'm trying to get a message across is that when you're trying to to quit, which is no mean feat. I agree all the way with this. It's difficult, but it's more difficult to go back than to go forward.

I had the fear of what was going to happen down the road. What I'm here to tell you is you can lead a full life a full [00:27:00] social life. If you just do one thing, stop drinking and you will be amazed at how people around you, first of all, they may not be surprised. And second of all, your friends, your real friends will stay with you and support you.

Anybody else you don't give a shite about. If people are harassing you. about alcohol. They're not your friends. Your friends will support you in every road you take. So also, I wanted to say that do you know that I was the greatest thief that ever stood in two shoes? It wasn't that I would steal your watch or your wallet or anything tangible like that.

Do you know that I stole the smile off my wife and my children's faces for years? And that's something [00:28:00] you can't give back. And that kind of thing stuck with me for so long about the damage that I had done, not alone to myself, but to others. And I am not that kind of person and that is what distraught me for a long time.

For example, how many of you out there have said sorry so many times that it didn't cut it anymore, that it just lost its effect and people would put up their hand and walk away from you. I heard it before. That was me also. This is where things can change for you. If you put the effort into yourself, being selfish with yourself in recovery, and if you put it with the same selfishness you had when you were drinking, you're going to make it.

If you put that zeal into it. And [00:29:00] for me, saying sorry anymore means that sorry, imagine it as being a sorry sign. And that sign has a little tag hanging from it that says, and I won't do it anymore. I'll do the simple things we tell our children and I won't do it anymore because if they keep repeating it nothing is being learned.

So that was a great lesson for me and I tried with my life and I'm telling you stuff that happened to me. And when I say we, I am including some people out there that may find this helpful or you may find this fella's talking a load of shite. That's fine. Everybody, we have our own opinions and I'm certainly not going to take offense by it.

That day is gone. Some of the things That did happen to me in sobriety and how I was able to deal. For example, [00:30:00] my daughter, that same daughter that introduced me to Gail Bell, she got married and I walked her down the aisle as a proud dad. During the reception, there was music and dancing and all the paraphernalia that goes on during the wedding.

At one point I got up and sang a song. No. I have not a note in my head, I sing like a crow, but I got up and this other chap got up with me and we sang a couple of good Irish songs. And my daughter told me shortly afterwards that somebody was talking to her and said, Kerry, I think your dad's drunk. And that same daughter turned around to her and said, My dad doesn't drink.

Bingo. Point I'm saying here is Fun can be had. People can look at you and say He's having fun with that. And I learned the [00:31:00] lesson. I always had that drink in my hand. Always had that water, that glass of water walked around. And sometimes that these things too, people think they're funny and unless your drinks, and that saves me 'cause I have my drink in my hand and naturally you have to put it down from time to time.

All I'm saying is. Be careful, and if you are, now, I've been at weddings, I've been at weddings in Ireland over the course of the last 34 years plus. I've been to the marriages, I've been to several, I have had to go unfortunately, and I suffered several close friends who died. People have asked, Colin, have you ever relapsed?

And I said, yes. Oh, and I said I was a professional quitter, because I quit that often, it was unreal. But the odd [00:32:00] thing about it is, when I hit my first AA meeting, I never took a drink since. Something about, I'm not here to preach that 12 step program, but I am here to tell you, that it is by far the best way, doesn't cost you a penny if you like, Costs you your time, but isn't it valuable time to put into something that's going to change your life forever.

And there will be no doom and gloom. I think that if you look back, you'll say, I need to change this shit. So now you get to the point, you've crossed the line. And now you're feeling, because you have that sobriety, that now you're saying again. What now? I am not drinking. I am so nervous about meeting people.

I'm embarrassed to tell them or that they'll find out that I'm an alcoholic, or if you like to call it. [00:33:00] Some people will say I'm a problem drinker. If it's problem enough and that's how you feel about it, that's fine, and you need to do something about it, that's fine too. But I have found that there are three ways.

The first way is to If I quit, if you, no, if you don't stop, or you don't, there's two things going to happen to you. You're either going to die, or go to jail. Either ways, you're fucked. The third option for you, is sobriety. And do one thing, just one thing. Then, you're neither going to go to jail, or die.

You're going to make it. Put the effort into it, you're going to make it. It does not come without some disappointments. Be ready for them. If you're around, the best people in this life to help you [00:34:00] with any problem, long term, are people who have walked a mile in your shoes. And those people are these groups that you see out there that will be of help to you.

If you're learning from these people around you, there comes a time when you may have to fly the coop, you may have to move on. Who knows, you may have to move to another state, another town, even another country. Either ways, you're taking what you have with you and you learn as you go along. The what now syndrome, when you're in sobriety, is you don't have to crawl under a rock You don't have to become a hermit.

If you do, what use are you going to be to anybody else? What use are you going to be to family and friends? I think that you need, like I did, I needed to have [00:35:00] a life, a full life. And I did. I had my disappointments, as I tell you. I had, there was a lot of deaths. But all of those, even though you may not be ready for them, they come as surprises and things like that.

And each of them, I was able to take part in whatever arrangements there were, without a thought, and that also, without a thought for alcohol. The only difference between me and somebody else out there who's starting out, is that I have said no more often. That's all. I'm just another alcoholic who's trying to put life right and trying to do right by what I have been given.

And I give it away freely. And as I said before, I always will. I believe that life for the person, we don't have to be that poor person. Look at me. I can't drink and all these people [00:36:00] around me are drinking either rationally or not. What I did with that was, I flipped that. I flipped it around to me being the person in the room who was doing the right thing all the time.

I wasn't drinking, I wasn't interfering with their drinking. I got up the next morning, I remembered every single thing I did, every single person I talked to beforehand. What the fuck did I say in that, or who did I insult? Oh, I couldn't remember. That went by the board. The only way now I can't remember stuff is because of my age.

And I'm trying to deal with that as well. However, when you get to that point, please switch this around as not being doom and gloom ahead of you. And not being fear. Fearful of the unknown. The unknown will become [00:37:00] known to you as you move along. And you will become a valuable person in society, a valuable person to home, a valuable person to your work.

All of these things, guaranteed, if you follow, if you've tidied your life up in the past, from the past, and you don't have to say sorry anymore, we do, we step out of line sometimes, but not because we were drunk, or because We told those lies and stole those smiles. They can always be replaced from those that are saved.

And mind you now, you have to take into account that I thought I would, as I said, that I could save my marriage and fair dues. My wife had been at the time was fed up with it and I don't blame her. And. [00:38:00] That was a turning point for me that said, okay, now I need to move on from that and I still need to work on me.

I have very much gratitude and I will, if Stuart invites me, I will come back. And if you have any questions, I'll be glad to hit on them next time. We would love to have you come back and yes, feel free and leave any questions for column or myself and we can do a podcast just answering questions column.

I just want to thank you so much for being here and sharing your experience, your story, your life experience. A few things that really stand out for me. Love the kind of windows of opportunity or miraculous things that happened that day. We aren't even going to know what's going to happen in our future, like your wife calling you, walking your children down the aisle and doing this podcast, right?

Never in a million years would you have thought when you're waving to your children as [00:39:00] they're leaving, thinking, hey, it's going to get a whole lot better than this. You're thinking this is it. George, one of the things that when you mentioned about my children, I have two children born in Ireland and I have two children born in the US.

Yeah. The two children obviously in the beginning were the two kids who were, who were born in Ireland. First of all, the relationship was so good. That was the girl who thought I could be of help. At Casement. Who thought I could be of help at Casement and open wonderful doors. My son, he's a nurse here in town.

And he and I have a wonderful relationship and always have had. Those children, play a major part in my life and have done for years and years. I still have the love of those two children. They came to meetings with me to see what it was about. My wife and my [00:40:00] two daughters who were born in the U. S. They come with me and have come with me in the early days just to see what it was all about.

And now I'm at this point in my life Where my two older kids born in Ireland, they know the changes that I made. They have seen them. The two children that I have in the U. S., I love them dearly. And of course, they have never seen their dad take a drink. They wouldn't know what it was like to see him drink.

They are all so proud of me for the journey that I have taken and how I have stood steadfast in my beliefs and being able to make a better life. Here's one for you and I'm only thinking of it right now. [00:41:00] I have made a better life for my wife and two children and that by that meeting, meeting joy in the beginning and then having two children.

What a blessing. And to do all of that in sobriety and lots more. We have an illness that we can at least put on the back burner. We have the answer to it ourselves. What other illness do you know that you can solve it yourself? You can make that illness stand outside your body and walk alongside you for the rest of your life.

The reason why I say that is When you drink, steps back in. When you stay, the illness is there. It's not within your body. And I feel that's extremely important. Why, and people said, have said sometimes in the past, What do you do about never drinking again? And I [00:42:00] say, I have never said, I'm not that cocky, to say that I will never drink again.

But what I do say When I get up in the morning, I thank my creator, and I ask him to get me through this day without alcohol. And if I get through this day without alcohol, I stand a chance of making good decisions. And that's what I have done throughout my life. One day. All these days have been grouped together, and I'm at the slippery slope at this stage.

And yes, I have lived a full life. Hang in there and if you do have questions, as I said, send them to Stuart and I'll do the best I can. Maybe you can tell me to go fuck myself. Maybe you'll tell me I don't like the way you talk. You can't tell me the way I dress because you don't know. But Stuart at times has been a wonderful help to me.

Just think of [00:43:00] the opportunities that I have gained to talk to people over the years. And the help that it may be to some people. And one last thing in talking in IOP years later, you're walking in a park and someone recognized you because of your voice, your Irish voice here in Albuquerque, New Mexico.

Do you want to touch on that at all? Okay. I'll leave out names. Yeah. I remember being at an IOP and sometimes got upset. I don't mean upset, but. He started to cry and I thought maybe I've struck a chord or something here. So we never, whatever happened, I never got to talk to him after that. But several years later, I was walking with my dog at a park and I could hear the clatter of a little [00:44:00] scooter coming behind me.

So I stepped aside maybe And this little boy and he says, thank you. And I said, I just said back to him, there's a good manner, a well mannered young boy. His father at that time was just passing me and he walked on a little bit and he turned back and he said, is your name Colm? And I hesitantly said, yes.

And he says, you may not remember me. Give me his name. And he said, you're the guy from Ireland. And I said, yes, I am. And he said, you were at one of these IOP meetings that I attended. And he said, I told you the disastrous things that was going on in my life at that time, including the possible losing his son over his alcohol abuse.[00:45:00] 

And his job, everything was a disaster for him at that time. He said to me, that's the son I was talking about. I now have him with me and I have custody. And you can see that when we get along so well. And next thing he said was, I recognized your voice just by those couple of words. And then he said, I am back at school, full time job.

and I am still, I didn't ask him how he did it and he thanked me and again I was getting embarrassed because you don't expect these things but the point that I'm making here is living under a rock doesn't give you the full life but by me putting myself out there I found out some years later that I [00:46:00] had an impact on one person, at least one person, that was positive.

And we said goodbye. I haven't seen him since. And I walked to my car with my dog whistling. And I'm not a good whistling, whistler either. It meant so much to me. And I say to myself, does, God works in mysterious ways. And I'm thinking, Here is a message that I have for you. Now, it could have been for me alone, because I share it because I feel I need to, because of, not because of what I did, but what we need to do.

And I'm saying, God is saying, this is just a message that I have for you. Keep going. You're doing okay. And that's the way I talk it. I love it. Fantastic. I don't think I can add anything better to that. That might [00:47:00] be a good place to wrap it up. Okay. Colin, thank you so much. You're welcome. Alright. Hope everyone has a great week.

Keep up the good work. Thank you. Thank you.

I'd like to recap some of the one things that Colm talked about. Those one things that I mentioned before you had the pleasure of hearing Colm speak. The first one thing started this whole domino effect of amazing positive life changes in his life. The first one thing was he became sober. That was that first domino that kind of stood up and was like, let's do this.

He also committed to being of service. He's committed to volunteering his time and services to help others be sober. He used humor in a way that he never thought would give him the results that it got him. He got the attention of his current wife. And from that, He has two children who have never seen him [00:48:00] take a sip or be on alcohol.

He complimented a young boy on a bike and that father shared with him how he had heard Colm share this story years ago and how it changed not only his life, but how better his life has been since he's been sober. He called me and volunteered his time to speak at the IOP program that I was facilitating, which I'll eventually let him know.

Tim to be on the official first episode of sobriety. Now what podcast? We never know what that one action will be, what that one thing will be. But if we are sober, we can add these other dominoes and these dominoes connect to other dominoes. And we create a life that we like and love and thrive in. We just never know what one thing can do to change our lives for the better.

It can happen at any time. However, in order for this to happen, you have to do one thing, and that one thing [00:49:00] starts with sobriety. Thank you for joining me for today's episode. I hope it left you feeling uplifted, inspired, and just all around better. I encourage you to take a moment to reflect on something that stood out for you.

Maybe it was a phrase or a feeling that can guide you throughout your day and possibly ripple goodness back into your life in unexpected ways. So keep a watch out. I believe the world is a better place with you in it, sober and happy. And I hope this podcast is helping with that. If this episode helped you.

I would love to hear from you. I would also love your support in helping others on their journey. Share, like, or follow Sobriety Now What? to reach more people who need this message. If someone comes into your mind while listening to this and you feel it could help them, please let them know. Whether it's through text, email, or social media, your small act is a big deal to me and could be a gift that keeps on [00:50:00] giving for someone else.

I do not know about you, but I I need all the help I can get. And I believe others do too. You reaching out to them could be the help that they need. Thank you for all that you're doing to stay sober. You're worth it, my friend. Until next time, keep up the amazing work. And I just want you to know that sobriety looks good on you and you make sobriety look good for others.